Well yesterday we cleaned up our office. Haven’t taken down the Christmas decorations yet but that will need to come next. I’m going to go to a boxercise/ swim class tonight to try and get back in shape—I’m looking forward to that! (I can’t do judo because my rings won’t come off my finger). John’s been back to work for awhile and I’ll try to get back for February 1st. I am not excited to go back to work but I know once I’m there it will help to have routine and to be with co-workers and students who all have been good to me. A new kind of normal. Sometimes it seems surreal. Did I really have Gordon? It is like we have our old life back but with an empty baby room and my body not quite back. And yet this isn’t our old life. When Ange and Brian left with the kids and Andrea left the same day, I knew I needed something to look forward to. I came home from the airport and started looking for trips. I found one for
8 comments:
I read your post and started to cry. Weird, eh? 'A new kind of normal.' That is exactly right. Your life will never be the same, but you will find 'normal' again. I'm sure that you see everything differently now. That can be good. You and John have been such an inspiration to me. I still hold you in my prayers. The Lord bless you and keep you.
So is that a pic of your hotel? I hope so, looks fabulous.
Sometimes I have a hard time making decisions- like choosing a spot in "Settlers of Catan". Nothing looks good and I sit there staring hoping another option will magically appear. But we have to move on and decide to embrace our fate. I applaud you for taking those courageous steps, to live all the while remembering. We can't bury the hurt or disappointment, because while Gordon's body is buried, he lives. His spirit is thriving and we are blessed that he is a part of our lives although not the way we had hoped. I'm encouraged by the way you include him in your home and ours, the way you have faced your pain and work through it all the while embracing beauty in the world and around you.
I wish I could write as beautifully as your sister. Both of you have brought tears to my eyes. I am so thankful that God has given you such strength and wisdom. I am so thankful that you have family and friends who hold you up in prayer. You display such an incredible beauty that inspires me to live each day to the fullest. I am glad and sad that you are finding a new normal. I wish it could be different. I am thankful you are continuing to face life with peace and joy, like I have always known you to do. Love you so much. And, I'm so excited for your trip!
Yeah for beaches...looks like you'll have a "warm" time :)
That will be a wonderful break for you and John. I was planning a trip somewhere warm. Pretty much any place but here is warm, ha-ha! Enjoy the holiday! Can't wait to hear all about it!
Your vacation away sounds so awesome. Bye Bye snow, Hello beaches!
J'nea
You both really need that trip and I'm glad you were able to schedule it. (Especially after that superstorm 2 days ago.)
Well, after a trip to a place it is nice to settle back into normal. What you have been through was like a trip to another place. Unfortunately you couldn't stay there so you are back to normal again. But as every trip or vacation, this one too had memories and pictures that no one could forget. You might get back into your normal life, but it added to you and John a big deal. You managed (and still manage) so well, it gives you a great deal of strength for your next journey.
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