The Spirit moves in ways that are unknown to me...but I'm glad He's working. The song that hit me this morning in church was "Before the throne of God Above." The part of the verse that always gets me are the words, "To look on Him and pardon me." Today that same verse hit me a little sooner. I never really thought about "when Satan tempts me to despair" making sense. I never thought that despairing could be a temptation. I understand that now.
Last night John and I spoke about how Heaven was a theorectical place before Gordon. We always knew it existed and we did want to see certain people again but we never truly longed to see it and be there. We do now. I believed that the Spirit orchestrated another meeting today and we were reminded of the many who Gordon will get to meet there.
Sarah went to our congregation long ago and she and her family were at the same restaurant today. Her mom had seen me awhile back in my obstetrician's office but hadn't seen me since. Sarah was expecting again and her sister just had a baby. But I noticed that Sarah's oldest son, Caleb was not there. As we got up to leave, someone asked John if we were having a baby. He decided to tell them yes, we had and we lost him a month ago. Sarah said, "We're going through the same thing." And then I knew where Caleb was. "Well our boys are together then." We found out the day of Caleb's funeral was the day we found out Gordon was gone. Caleb was ten years old and had suffered throughout his life. He had many difficulties since his birth, and had many special needs. He had been revived after being born still. I will not try to figure out why Caleb lived after birth, only to die before his tenth birthday. I'm sure that in the ten years he lived he affected many, not just his family. I will also not try to figure out why our arms are empty now. But I do now that Gordon will have many new friends and family members to be with him. Sarah and I both agreed that grief is a strange thing. I know that hers is different from mine. And though it seems strange that we met and were seated at two tables near each other today--I do not think that it was chance. On October 29th Sarah said on her blog, "I am so thankful that he now has a new body, and for the first time he is able to talk and walk." Gordon will be walking and talking and saying his first words up there too.
I am grateful for the workings of the Spirit, mysterious and wonderful.
Oh, you can listen to the two songs "We've been Waiting for You" and "How do I Keep From Singing" on the post where I included the lyrics. Getting them to play (by clicking on the arrows) is a bit mysterious as well but I did get them to play.
Thank you Chelsey for the angel holding Gordon.
5 comments:
At first when you said Sarah, I thought you were talking about our cousin, Sarah. I don't understand much, but this was definitely one of those supposed to happen encounters. We are supposed to share each other's burdens. Some days I wish I could just take your pain for you, so you wouldn't have to endure it- but I do share at some level and somehow that gives us the strength to keep on and to hope and to live.
Our road through life is long and there is more then one ditch in it. We fall but somehow we always get up and keep walking. You both do a amazing job with getting out of that ditch on the road. You know that we all love you and pray for you. And hopefully down that road there will be a flower to be picked up.
These days, I don't have many words. Usually, I can explain how I feel, can see how God working....
These days, I am relying on what i know, not on what I feel. Letting myself feel of course, but trusting on the truths of God's promises. He is still good, just and full of perfect love. I am so encouraged by our meeting and now getting a glimpse into the life you have had in the past little while. It's nice to know I'm not alone (which i've been feeling alot lately) not that people aren't there for me, but they just don't understand, which is totally okay.
I liked how you said that our grief is different. It's true. It's been very strange....i guess before all this happened, I imagined grief to be unbearable, horrible and extrememly painful (which it has at times) but the word that sums it up good is strange....
I go from denial to anger to acceptance all in the same day. I dont know how people do it without the grace of our Lord....He really has been faithful to carry us. I can see there's only one set of footprints these days...
I loved the comment your mom left on the post of when Gordon passed. she said that God sacrificed His only son for the sake of us all...
That is what totally hit me after Caleb passed was that Caleb was here not for his own pleasure. he didn't get to walk, eat, talk, move....
but he touched and changed so many lives...mostly mine and joe's! and then left the earth....
it was like he was a sacrifice to do God's work. The impact of His resurrection will be forever changed in my heart.
You can see a strong foundation in you and John. A solid ground on which you stand. that rock is Jesus. That....will speak beyond words to those that are seeking peace.
My song for this season has been "blessed be your name....on the road marked with suffering, tho there's pain in the offering....blessed be your name"
Do you know that one?
In church yesterday, it was so good to worship! We have flags at our church and I took the baby and went to the front right away and took a red flag (which represents His blood) and just started worshipping.....
2 seconds later, the whole church just seemed to be "unlocked" (you know when you have to wipe away the cobwebs in the morning..) and it was a wonderful time of meeting with God.
I felt like God was saying that it was such a powerful testimony to have a mother who just lost her son, to testify that He is worthy, that circumstances do not change that he is worthy and that spoke to others.
It's all for His glory.
I am blessed to have you through this. I'll be calling you this week
Blessings,
Carebear /Sarah (dunlop) Waldherr
What an amazing thing. God certainly crosses our paths with people that need to be in our lives. How wonderful for both of you.
Praying for you Jenn and John....and also for Sarah and her family.
Laurie Bouchard
Wow - life can be full of some wonderful surprises. Blessings, thinking and praying for you guys :)
p.s. those are wonderful songs and so neat to "hear" them.
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