Several days ago while having low blood sugar in the middle of the night, my mind was in an altered state. I haven't had a low like this one in awhile. I woke John and was trying to make sense of what was happening. "It's bigger than us...there are all these people." After John helped me, (got me to bloodtest, gave me two juice boxes and granola bar, changed the sheets from the sweat and got me in the shower), I was feeling a lot better. Later he recalled what I was trying to say.
"It's bigger than us; there are all these people." I do see some sense in this.
Through our pain we have received an outpouring of love from friends and family. We are receiving a covering of prayer--I'm sure this is helping us sleep at night.
We witnessed this at the internment for Gordon's body. It was humbling to look behind us in our car and to see a string of lights following--people who came to show their love and support. There were so many there and many who were with us in spirit as well.
People have also shared their stories of losing unborn and born children. There is a special community here. No matter how many years have passed, the loss remains. And yet each person has been an encouragement to John and I and has shown us that we will go on. Thank you.
I am learning lessons from Gordon:
Life is precious. Take nothing for granted. Play with and hold your children closely. Show and tell them you love them-several times a day. Do the same with your spouse. Oh how I am grateful for John right now! Do not live in fear of the unknown--there is a reason we don't know it.
The Passover, and Jesus' death will never be the same for me. We have lost our pure firstborn son. My faith will never be the same. I do not think it is meant to be.
12 comments:
Dear Jenn and John,
oh how wonderous are the ways of the Lover. You lost a child, yet you are so strong. I don't know how you do this. I am not sure if I could do it.
Be your days blessed with the love and spirit of God.
Wow. Thanks for sharing.
Yes. I agree about not living in fear of the unknown. Good words.
A few weeks ago Mr. Griffin had a bad low blood sugar spell. At first it sounded like he was talking nonsense. But it wasn't. He kept talking to his deceased sister and Jesus even with me and the ambulance workers in the room.
Thank you for sharing and for striving and for overcoming. Thank you John for loving and being there with and for my sister.
After I had begged God for two days to change the verdict and finally accepted that I had to release Gordon, it dawned on me that God gave up his son willingly and purposefully for us. I don't have that love yet, but am ever so thankful for His. Gordon has given me a deeper understanding and appreciation for God's sacrifice for us.
Dearest Jenn and John,
Oh how blessed to know the Love of God. His LOVE so apparent through His Son, through family and friends, with each word, with each action surrounding us with His comfort and sustaining us with His grace. You are surrounded with so many who love you and so many who will always be there for you. So many who stand in the gap in prayer. You are indeed covered and upheld in prayer our dear ones. God bless and keep you. All our love and prayers. Scott and Mano
"GREAT IS THE LOVE OF OUR FATHER"
Jenn and John
You have been in our prayers since we first heard.
There are a lot of things in life I don't understand, and the death of Gordon is one breaks my heart and makes me long for an answer. I trust in the wisdom of God so even if I never understand or see reason in a situation, it's comforting knowing that He is in charge, and he has a purpose.
I appreciate all that you have had to say about Gordon.
Sue and I will continue to pray for both of you.
John & Jennifer,
We continue to hold you up in thought and prayer as this week unfolds.
Love to you both,
Sharon
Wow Jenn, God is carrying you closely. Lay in His arms for now. You will learn to walk again with Him by your side. Your words make me relive my own first baby son's death, funeral, a snowy internment, the people gathered....and yes, Passover, and Jesus death will never be seen and felt the same. But for me it is the Resurrection that has taken on new huge meaning. I hope you too will draw on the hope and promise of the Resurrection. Christ has conquered death for all-- Gordon's spirit lives!
We're praying for you as each day goes by and you ache.
love,
Rebecca McMillan & Steve & 3 kids
Just a little note to say we are continuously thinking of you and praying for you. Thank you for opening our eyes to so many things.
God Bless you both!
Laurie and Rolland Bouchard
Thank you for continuing to share what is in your hearts. You are both so strong, and make me want to be a better person and mother. Whenever I have a rough day with my lil Hurricane, I think of you and hold him tight in my arms (and feel guilty that I can) and tell him that I love him, even though I feel exhausted from his energy and frustrated with his temper. Thank you for helping me to see that he really is a gift, no matter how much he pushes the limits and challenges me. Thinking of you daily and praying for your healing and your broken heart. So glad to see all the love and support pouring out around you.
With much love,
Jeannette OX
I wish that I could give you a hug Jenn, but I'll have to give you one in spirit. I think about you often and I pray for you all the time. I love you.
Robin Taylor
It's almost three weeks, John and Jennifer, and I want you to know that we are keeping you close in our hearts and our prayers. I hope you are doing well. Love from LaWanda
We are continuing to think about you often and pray for you as the days and weeks go by.
Love & prayers,
Sharon
Post a Comment