That’s right my boy would be six months in earth time. Who knows how it all works up there… I had a good visit with Tara (looking forward to you and your family moving here!) when she and Tim came looking for houses on the 22nd. We talked about Gordon. As we were talking she asked me if I would have a question for God when I’m in Heaven about losing Gordon. I answered quickly and I’m pretty sure it won’t change but I don’t really know. I think I will be so excited to see my son and to be there that I don’t think I would need an answer. I know I will always mourn Gordon. I also think that God grieved (and does grieve) over what grieves us. So there it is: the month of May. Yes this month is mixed for me: six months from Gordon’s death and birth, my birthday, and Mother’s day. But those are good markers and they are times to celebrate. The six months’ marker indicates that I can see we are okay. There are more good times than bad right now. John and I know we are loved so well by others and that we love each other. My birthday marks a year of great joy and sadness that I have walked through; it was wonderful and awful and full). And Mother’s Day is a day that acknowledges the fact that I am a mother—and I will be one again. And so I am grateful to God for the time we had with Gordon—albeit much too short, and I am grateful for the love Gordon has given me and others. So I hope you’re enjoying some heavenly food son! I love you.
5 comments:
I have been thinking you and John the past several weeks with Mother's day and Father's Day rolling around and YES you are a mother and father and I pray God's blessing upon you both as you reflect on Gordon at these two occasions on our calendar
Loads of love to you both, Sharon
A great big happy Mother's Day to you Jenn - a celebration of your life as a Mom to Gordon and the other children you will bring into this world! Your journey through motherhood thus far has been such an inspiration - full of strength, hope, courage, honesty.
Thank you. We continue to keep you and John in our prayers.
"Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man." ~Tagore, Rabindranath
Take care!
JC
Hard to believe it's been six months. I am sure some days it feels like it's been much longer, and other days it still feels like yesterday. You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday. You are indeed a mother, to a precious heavenly angel all your own. Happy Mother's Day to the most courageous mother I know!
So many momments are bittersweet and will be through the years. I'm glad you have found so many joys even amidst the sadness. I wish you a happy birthday and mother's day, but so much more than happy. I wish for you that inner confidence, that knowing that all is well, that there are deep wells of love available to you and joys also. Mourning lasts for a night, but joy comes in the morning. I don't know how, but that it's a divine exchange.
yes, joe and i just passed Caleb's 6 months since he passed on the 27th. it was a hard week....
He died on a friday and the 6 month anniversary was on a friday, so i felt like i was reliving the whole week over again. My mom calls it the "video tape" the memories of when you play it over and over in your head.
Monday he was admitted to hospital with severe hypothermia a temp of only 29 degrees!
tuesday we were sure he would make it. but by tuesday night we had our doubts
wednesday....he almost died. we said all our goodbyes, just incase
thursday, we could see caleb fading, tired and not able to hang on very much longer
friday morning 5:45am we got the call......
rushed to the hospital....only to say our final final final goodbyes but it was too late. he layed there so peaceful, like he was sleeping.....
came home, told the kids, noah cried.....totally exhasuted, we wanted to spend sometime with other kids and just be a family that day.
took them bowling...i had a splitting headache.
On my birthday, on Gordon's birthday, We buried our son.....
My heart is with you. Just think that they are together, with Jesus...
Love you, and hang in there. I love how you said that this is the time where you can see that God has sustained you. He is faithful!
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