Answered prayers

photo by Kirsten Magnuson --Amazon Photography in Saskatoon

This is something I wrote for Sister Triangle the theme is Answered Prayers.

"An eight pound answered prayer"

Hoping and praying for our little girl began not long after we lost our son Gordon who was stillborn at 39 weeks gestation. We always wanted family and Gordon was just the beginning. My body, our home, our families, our minds and spirits were ready for a baby. We waited for five months before trying again and that first prayer was answered right away: I was pregnant again. With that knowledge came fear and a need to trust. I needed to put trust in God who wants good things for his children. I needed to let go of things outside my control--but how? I had trusted him with my firstborn: I had prayed. And while I knew that John and I were not abandoned when Gordon died and that Gordon was in God’s hands, this did not quiet my heart regarding our second baby. How could I rely on His promises? Some well-meaning people would ask if this pregnancy was somehow better. Yet, the pregnancy with Gordon had gone well the whole time. I had been monitored closely with Gordon as well. Who’s to say this experience would be any different? And yet we had to hope; we had to trust and we had to pray. What other options did we have?

The next 37 weeks were long. How many prayers did John and I whisper? How many were said out loud that were exactly the same? Countless. Many were merely: “God, I need to feel the baby kick—NOW.” I know that God’s agenda is different than mine and that it is not our prerogative to give God ultimatums: but knowing this about God didn’t stop me from asking Him the same thing over and over again. My desire and requests were clear and I was relentless and singular in my focus. And so we would go from appointment to appointment, one stage to the next, clinging to the belief that: our baby would be born alive, we would hear our baby’s cries, and we would hold our baby for as long as we wanted.

And while we clung to our belief despite our unbelief—others were praying too. If I knew the number I am sure I would be shocked. There are people whose names I do not even know—friends of friends who were praying for our unborn baby. We all came knocking with that same request. I am sure that at times in my tired pregnant state the prayers of others covered where I lacked.

The prayers continued as I was induced Friday December 14^th. I was grateful that the nursing staff understood my need to have the monitor on almost at all times. When Imogen was born everything was different. Giving birth did not include dying. It did not include saying good bye before saying hello. I felt lighter in so many ways and those tears--were joyous. Imogen Grace means “In the image or likeness of God’s favour.”

She is that. This is what God’s grace looks like: a small baby. Hope. Life.

Now my prayers are different. While her safety and health will always be my concern, I now pray that she may continue to grow in His image and show His grace and favour to all she encounters. God does answer prayers. I am so grateful for ours—arriving December 15^th weighing 8 pounds.

Added note: Romans 12:15 comes to mind when I think all those—Sister Triangle included—who grieved with us when Gordon died and are now sharing our joy at the arrival of Imogen. “Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.” The order is reversed, but I am so thankful to have had that support from those who have taken this scripture to heart. Thank you for grieving with us in our sorrow and for rejoicing with us now!